Higher Road

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Quote of the Day:

“It isn’t a question of doing more work. It’s more of your own internal critic that goes, “You could do better than that. Take the higher road, not the easy route.”

— Robin Williams

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Two things before I write about the topic up for tonight.

1. Today is my baby sister’s birthday. I did call and spent quality time on the phone with her since she lives in Lawrence, Kansas. So, everyone think good thoughts and happy birthdays for my sister. She is very special to me.
2. I did not mention anything of the last two days about the death of Senator Ted Kennedy. I am greatly moved because this is the end of an era. I can remember the election of John F. Kennedy as president and the day he died. I was living in Florida and going to school. The teachers and students were weeping. The TVs in the classrooms were turned on to watch the events. Then there was Bobby. Another tragedy in our lives and to his family. When John Jr. died with his wife and sister-in-law. How much more could the Kennedy family take? Now the Senator has lived a good long life. He has lived with the tragedies that have occurred in his life. In watching life play out on the television, in the papers and on the Internet, I am very close to tears. A very important person to our lives has passed on to a better place and I send my condolences to his family and friends.

Now, is it better to take the easy way out or take the higher road?

I’ve gone both routes and both have worked.

However, I found I needed to look at every angle and the end results.

Would anyone, including me, be adversely affected by my actions?

Would the end results benefit me in the way I foresee them?

Have I looked at my situation from different perspectives which would change my actions?

I feel when I have answered these questions to the best of my ability and I’ve made my choice; I can rest easy in the actions I take to reach the end of my journey.

The one thing to remember in all of this is the journey. Have I enjoyed my journey whether easy or hard?

I have found in life experiences, the journey was always the best and made the destination more enjoyable.

mz. em

P.S. I am going to take Saturday and Sunday off from writing so that I may catch up on e-mail. I do wish everyone to have a wonderful weekend.

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Happiness

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Quote of the Day:

“We all live with the objective of being happy; our lives are all different and yet the same.”

— Anne Frank

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What a topic to write about today.

Why, you may ask?

I’m not feeling happy. I know I ought to since I have my darling husband sleeping beside me and snoring quietly. Both Max and Bailey are sleeping either on the bed or under it.

I have a scented candle burning and I do not feel relaxed. I know a part of this is due to my disorders, impatience and feeling like I’m tied to the bed. I made out a list of things to be done and that is overwhelming. Here I kick myself in the bum.

In my list making I know that I can prioritize what is most important. I’m going to take a look at that list and I will be back.

Okay, I’m back now. I find the cats have switched places and Michael is still napping as well.

What I did was to work on one of my landlady’s plants. I trimmed up the long strands of leaves with spaces and leaves only on the ends. Then I sprayed them with plant cleaner which cleans up the dust and gives sheen to the leaves and places nutrients on the plant.

My next task was to water the plants in the front of the house. While watering plants I found that the mint plant was covered with white flies. Yeech, I finished watering and I got the bug killer for plants and sprayed away. I will need to remember to tell G, if she uses any of the mint to wash it thoroughly.

I’m going to take care of the cats and that will put me in a good mood. All three of us will feel good when I’m done.

Yes, we do feel better; the cats are sleeping again.

Well, this may have not been a very happy entry but I did get some things done and my cats are happy.

Have a grand evening.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Diversions

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Quote of the Day:

“Romance and work are great diversions to keep you from dealing with yourself.”

— Cher

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My diversions began when I was a small child. Although at that age, I didn’t have romance or work. I had books thanks to my Aunt Lish. I also played outside as much as possible during all four seasons while living in Maine and Florida.

Reading and my imagination were the diversions of dealing with alcoholic arents. Those of you who have grown up under these conditions know of what I type here. When I was reading or imagining I didn’t have to deal with the confusion of changing rules, situations and feeling like I wasn’t good enough no matter what I did.

When I became older, I added to my tools house cleaning. Overall this was a good thing but when it came to cleaning my room I would pull everything out from the wall. I would sweep, dust and wash windows. Next came putting the furniture back and I would rearrange room until the next week. This act would drive my mother crazy. I don’t know why since my room was clean.

Other diversions were high school and after school activities. Romance also entered the picture and I must say my choices weren’t very good. The idea in my head was all of this kept me from the home chaos.

Although my grades were mostly “A’s” and “B’s” with some “C’s” none of this registered with mother. Her attitude was I could have done better. In time, I just stopped trying and did what I did and whatever I got was good enough for me.

After fighting with mother enough times, I moved in with my Dad and Step-Mother. They did the best they could but I was a scarred child and whether in my head or physically acting out I didn’t make life easy for them or what they could do for me.

I ended up pregnant by the boyfriend of the time. I wasn’t even 18 yet. I moved in with him and as soon as I turned 18 we were married. We were married before a Justice of the Peace. Our mothers were there but not my Dad. One more time I had disappointed him and that hurt.

My life was a hit or miss of good choices and me adding to my closets in my head. The bad choices I would put in a back closet and kept the door locked. Those choices would find a way out and curdled my soul to even acknowledge them. I didn’t understand them and I didn’t know how to get rid of them except to lock them back in their closets.

So I had come to the point of work, bad choices of boyfriends and dancing most every night. I would stay up most of the night with a stop off for breakfast, a couple of hours of sleep and then back to work. Only to do it over again, by the third night I had to give it a rest and stay in and I would sleep like a brick.

Sometimes. Sometimes my sleep would be inhabited by dreams about my parents or actions I had taken and the outcome which was not what I had expected. I hated to sleep because of the dreams. I believe this is why I worked and played hard so I could keep the boogie man away.

Luckily I found Al-Anon. This program gave me the tools to face my demons and to finally put them to rest. Since I didn’t have good role models, I found better ones in the program. I reset my brain, I let go of the scary stuff in my head and I learned to act and not react to situations. This didn’t happen overnight but step by step and one day at a time. Today I am living with my disorders as peacefully as I can, happily married to the man of my dreams and my two fur children.

Gee, all of this from a simple quote. Thank you Cher.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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What Stops Me from Writing?

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Quote of the Day:

“I have at last come to a momentous decision. I am going to give up my press-clipping agency. I find that even a favorable notice makes me feel sick nowadays, while an unfavorable one, even from a small provincial paper, puts me off my work for days.”

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Good afternoon. I thought I would have been writing before now but I overslept.

I have not made a momentous decision other than to attempt to write at least five days during the week. I did pretty well.

I don’t have a press-clipping agency but I do have the comments my readers leave when an entry resonates with them. I suppose I could stop reading the comments. Only it is fun to check in with my friends, to know how they and their families are doing. So far I’ve not had a nasty comment. I believe I had one once over on D-land and I left it. I felt everyone is entitled to their opinion and who am I to deny that?

Okay, I’m back now. I needed to take out our trash since tomorrow is trash day. The cats came next: clean litter boxes, area around the boxes, food and water bowls cleaned and added to, brush the kitties, Bailey has his medication and Max has his chin washed. I’m not sure what I washing off but I have a feeling it was ice cream with his licking out the remnants from our bowl.

My other aha with the kitties was the hairball treatment in a tube. Bailey liked it immediately but Max put up a fight. This week I put a dab in the palm of my hand and Bailey licked away. The surprise was Max, normally I would have to chase him through the house and when caught, rub the remedy onto his paw. He would have to lick it off and he ran around the house. Well, I put another dollop in my palm and he began licking it just like he takes his treats. I hope it is always this easy.

Okay, back to what keeps me from writing:

1. I don’t have a topic
2. I don’t feel I have anything interesting to write about
3. My inner critic telling me I have nothing to give my readers
4. I wait too late in the day and then I’m tired with no energy
5. Not making time to write; this includes my hard cover journal too

I fine what brings me back to writing is when I read other’s blogs and I’m inspired to jot down a few words and then the rest of the words seem to fall in line.

So to you who have kept up with me through thick and thin of words. I thank you for keeping in touch with me.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by A-Anon

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Fascinating

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Quote of the Day:

“Even if my marriage is falling apart and my children are unhappy, there is still a part of me that says, “God! This is fascinating.”

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Hi gang, happy Monday!

I did finish one book and a small leaflet. I’m almost caught up on my Bible reading and Al-Anon inspirational book. Other than that I spent time with my fur children.

I know every parent feels that their children are the best and I’m one of those parents. The difference is that my children are cats, Max is three and Bailey is two and I do find them fascinating.

This is actually Spike but this is what Bailey looks like

Bailey is a cat that likes to watch me clean out their litter boxes and the area surrounding the boxes. I’m not sure what he finds fascinating other than he may feel he is supervising me. Max could care less until the job is done and he can use the boxes.

Max, however, is “Mr. Clean.” He cleans up around the food bowl and when it comes to the litter boxes, man, he paws and paws and even runs his paw down the sheet that covers the bathroom area. Yet, since both Max and Bailey are a Maine Coon-mix their back paws holds onto that litter and I find it every where.

Bailey has found he likes sleeping on the bed, the empty ice cooler, on top of the drawer beside the TV and under the bed.

I’ve also noticed that Max likes to stir up the water in his water dish, then he licks his paw and then he will drink from the bowl.

Max’s favorite places to sleep are on the carpet under the desk in a little cubby I made by stacking boxes and bags of our things at the front of the desk. Max has a box with the top that has about a 12-inch hole in it. Unless you knew about it you would never find him. There is also a stack of blankets beside the chest of drawers that Max finds very comfortable.

Both cats like sleeping next to me or Michael. Usually they begin the evening with me (I think because I don’t move as much as Michael) and then move over to Michael. Both like to sleep propped up against my legs or feet or they curl up in the crooks of my body depending  whether I’m on my side or between my legs if I’m on my back. Neither of them cares to be under the covers unless I am making the bed. Go figure.

These two cats can drive us crazy but we love them very much.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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It’s Friday!

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Quote of the Day:

I’m giving the quotes a couple of days off too.

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I am so behind in my reading that I’m taking this weekend off to catch up. So, don’t worry, I will be back on Monday. I’ve got to get back onto one book at a time other than my bible reading.

Have a good weekend everyone!

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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A Bunch to Do

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Quote of the Day:

“The ark was built by amateurs, and the Titanic by the experts. Don’t wait for the experts.”

— Murray Cohen

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Today was a busy day. The morning was relaxing but as the hands of the clock moved past the noontime hour, I had to get a move on. We have plenty of things to do this afternoon. To begin with, it began with a short jaunt to Los Osos:

1. A stop at the veterinarian to make a payment on the bill;
2. A visit to the post office. Neither Michael or I received what we were wishing for;
3. An appointment at the pharmacy to receive our annual flu shots. We were told that the swine flu shots wouldn’t be ready until the end of October. We will be in Colorado by then.
4. Last stop at Wally World for a refill of one of my prescriptions. We stopped into McDonald’s to get one of their new frozen drinks – they didn’t have it – instead we ordered up some French fries. No fast food joint makes French fries like Mickey D’s does.

Now we are off for home. I am so glad because I’m sure feeling tired. I also feel I’m having a light reaction from the flu injection.

We arrived home in time for me to take a short nap before dinner. I needed it and by the time dinner was ready, I was prepared to be up and about. Dinner consisted of baked chicken, rice and Brussels sprouts followed by a cup of vanilla ice cream. Ah yes, I was comfortably full. I was ready to go up and take care of my fur babies.

Dinner over we headed upstairs to be with the cats and settle in for the evening.

Good night all.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Laundry Day Highlights

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Quote of the Day:

“I’m as pure as the driven slush.”

— Tallulah Bankhead

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I wrote in an earlier entry about shared living space.

In sharing space this includes the washer and dryer. In the Henrietta house, I used to separate out the towels, the sheets, the whites, the jeans, T-shirts and delicates. Some times the wash would sit in the washer for more than a couple of hours and the other side of the coin is the load of wash sitting in the dryer for a day.

Well, when you share space with others, this method of washing doesn’t work. Tempers can easily flare if a load of wash isn’t attended to in a timely fashion.

Since moving in the Royal Oak Way house, I need to do the laundry in a timely fashion. The only sorting I do now is between the regular clothes and my delicates. To make a full load of clothes, I put all the regular clothes in one load. A raised eyebrow here, the saving grace is that all our clothes have been washed enough so there is no bleeding of colors onto the whites.

The only problem I have is that with washing clothes all together is that with the different types of cloth, some things dry much sooner than others. I need to keep watch to be able to pull out those clothes that dry quick and pull them out and fold them while the other clothes continue drying.

With sharing space I’ve had to learn to go with the flow and be considerate of others.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Sharing Space

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Quote of the Day:

“If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in a library?”

— Lily Tomlin

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In a previous entry Back From a Walk About I wrote about the four of us are sharing a bedroom.

The sharing in this room is that the cats share their litter from the litter box. Both cats are Maine Coons and they have tuffs of hair between the pads of their paws. The carpet, of course, has the bits and pieces of litter. The top blanket on the bed is black and the litter is obvious. The worst, remember the story of the “Princess and the Pea?” Yes, the litter finds itself into our bed. Eeuuu. That’s probably the worst of sharing in our little room. I don’t think the cats have any complaints about us other than not letting them out of the room.

Sharing a house with others is an experience as well. I need to make sure about laundry day that it doesn’t conflict with the other folks. There is the respect of food in the refrigerator. No eating or drinking of marked containers. Luckily, we don’t have to share a bathroom and this is nice.

One of the pleasant times is when everyone comes home for the day and we meet on the patio to share a libation of our choice and talk about the day. Let’s not forget about the watching of the flora and fauna of the area. Then there’s dinner, the only meal we share. I love the fact that one is the cook who creates meals on most night but when she has other plans for the evening she makes sure there are frozen meals and there are always leftovers to be reheated. There is also the sharing of the computer room. This room holds the owners own computer; then Michael and I need to share between us as we have our own computers. I tend to work during the day and Michael uses his computer in the wee hours of the morning.

All in all, we have good roommates and it is a pleasure sharing space with the people who live here too.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Am I Writing Yet?

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Quote of the Day:

“I’m looking for something to write about, waiting for something to happen. I’m waiting patiently like a hunter in a duck blind, waiting for the ducks to fly over.”

— Joseph Wambaugh

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I like this quote because I am waiting for something to come to me to write about.

I know that my Dad and uncles went ducking hunting. I wasn’t much for getting up early or sitting out in the cold. Sometimes they would come back with ducks and sometimes not.

Now fishing I know. I loved going out with my Dad and uncles to fish along the edge of river, end of a pier or from a boat. I was happy to catch fish but one of the guys had to put a worm on my hook and then take my fish off the hook. Reeling in the fish, now that was pure pleasure. However, I learned from the guys it was okay to sit and be at one with the surroundings. It was one of those moments to enjoy the journey as well as the end results whatever they may be.

When I was in the third and fourth grade we lived in Florida. We lived on the river about a mile from the ocean and our landlady had a pier. Every afternoon after school or anytime during the summer, you would find me out on the pier catching what I could. Being much older, I was able to bait my hook and remove my fish as well. It was fun to harass the crabs with my bait and have them chase my bait around the river bed.

When I did catch fish, the first one was always for the landlady’s cat and the rest were for me. I would slice and dice my fish and freeze what I had just in case I didn’t have any bait. Fish were not finicky about what they would bite on.

Yes, there were days the fish didn’t bite. I was happy to be sitting on the pier and watch the water, the boats going up and down the river and occasionally a shark making its way up river. I found a lot of peace on that pier.

Today has been an easy day. I got some laundry done, turned on the dishwasher so the dishes would be clean when our friend arrives home. I spoke with my Aunt Dorothy, 90 years old. She was home taking it easy as it was 90 degrees outside. She said for June and July it rained most every day.

Michael talked to our friends in Colorado to update them on our status. Michael’s back is doing much better and he organized his side of the room. It looks very nice and roomier now I just need to do my side of the headboard.

I can’t think of much else to say other than to have a good Sunday night.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

“Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

“Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

“New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

“Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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