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Archive for August, 2008

Uncomfortable

I sat for awhile today reflecting on life. What came to my mind were the people, places and things which make me feel uncomfortable.

One of the things that popped right to the forefront was needles. As a child I hated getting shots. I remember when we received shots at school or even the doctor’s office, I would be screaming like mad when the doctor came at me with the needle. Mother always gave me a hard time about acting like a baby.

I’m older now and I’m a little bit better, but I still get the butterflies in the stomach. But, could I take pills instead? I feel that in donating blood helped overcome most of the anxiety of needles.

I also don’t like loud noises like when my neighbor was/is doing construction on her backyard. The constant hammering or the use of a power nailing gun on the garden shed would drive me nutty. There would be the sound of the power saw for cutting wood. Then there is the sound of the machine that packs down the aggregate stone for setting stones to create the courtyard. Thump, thump, thump for more than an hour or two.

There are also lawnmowers and air blowers for the days that lawns are mowed.

My best friend through all this is ear plugs.

I also don’t like a noisy, crowded grocery stores. When I go, I like to go early in the morning or later in the evening. There have been times when I’ve become so uncomfortable that I let Michael finish up the shopping and I go sit in the truck. Plus, there are times I stay in the truck while Michael shops.

I found that street people, those who do not have a place to live and find food in dumpsters. Part of me wants to smile and say hi but I’m afraid they will carry it further and want a handout or ask me for something I don’t have or something I cannot do or care to.

I do give donations to the organizations that help these people. I feel I am doing what I can within my comfort zone.

That is what comes to mind at this sitting. Now the seed has been planted, there maybe more to write about.

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“There are two ways of spreading light; to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it.”

— Edith Wharton

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

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Read Full Post »

I’ve Lost a Day

Somewhere along this week I’ve lost a day. It really took hold yesterday. I went to take my medications and I always take the ones right next to the empty cubicles. It’s a medication separator by day and time of day.

When I realized I was taking Friday’s meds I had to stop, I thought the day was Saturday. I asked Michael what day it was because it didn’t feel right. Just to satisfy my mind, he checked several different date keepers so I would know for sure it was Friday.

I believed him but the day still felt weird.

Then this morning when I went to take my meds, of course, I opened the Saturday med section and I stopped myself again. Today feels like Sunday. I know it isn’t after my talk with Michael. I know it really is Saturday.

I don’t know if this losing a day is because I’m getting older or the medications I take. It still makes me stop and think. With that I’m going to believe it is Saturday and not Sunday and get into my Saturday TV watching.

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“I am a part of all I have read.”

— John Kieran

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

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Read Full Post »

I’m a Dummy

I am a stickler about my money. I keep my checkbook register up to date and balanced right down to the penny. If it is only pennies I may make an adjustment and call it good.

Yesterday though, I don’t know where my mind was and stress doesn’t help either.

Michael and I were combing monies so that we could pay the rent. I had just gotten my benefit check from work and Michael had his unemployment check. We add, we subtract and this goes back and forth. We must have spent an hour on it.

Michael makes a run to the bank to deposit money and to drop off the rent check. He arrives home and I let him know I think I’ve calculated wrong and we are still short on money. Stress returns. I add and subtract the figures in the checkbook register from the last time it balanced to make sure I had not made any errors. No errors here.

As I’m looking at my bank statement on-line and my checkbook register is when I realize I had not posted my benefit check from work to my register. Ah ha, here is the culprit. When I post that check and added it in, there was enough money. Whew!

I don’t know how I could have missed that but what a dummy!

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.”

— Edna Ferber

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

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Read Full Post »

Seven years after I was born, my sister appeared in the world on this date.

I’m excited because I got her birthday gift into the mail last week. It seems every year I’m late in finding the perfect gift and then I am late getting it into the mail. I will call her a little bit later to wish her happy birthday.

My sister is the greatest. She is the artist of the family. She also is assisting to becoming an artist. Actually, she’s teaching me to not worry about being a PERFECT artist but to have fun being an artist without worrying about being perfect. Well, she’s good because that is what is happening, I’m having fun doing what I do and loving the end results even if it looks like a third grader did it.

Today is a lazy day. Michael didn’t sleep well last night so he’s taking a nap on the futon. I’m feeling like I want a nap as well. The cats are sleeping somewhere around the house. I can’t believe it, a totally quiet house.

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“There is only one real deprivation . . . and that is not to be able to give one’s gifts to those one loves most.”

— May Sarton

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read Full Post »

Call’s to Make

Today I need to make a call to an organization called HICAP – Health Insurance Counseling and Advocacy Program. They are up on the area’s aging and the services available to them.

I’ve gone through all the material that Medicare has sent me and it is all gobbledy gook. I understand none of what I’ve read. There is also no mention of dental care, eye care or my psychiatric care.

I did call HICAP and I have an appointment next week with a counselor to go over the paper work and find the best plans for me. I hope this will take care it and I can get all the paperwork done or done on-line and be done with it so I don’t have to worry about it until next year.

Wish me luck.

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“Tidied all my papers. Tore up and ruthlessly destroyed much. This is always a great satisfaction.”

— Katherine Mansfield

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

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Read Full Post »

A Regular Day

Today is a regular day.

Bailey woke me up at 8:30 a.m.

I took my medications.

I groomed the kitties and will take care of the rest of their maintenance when I get back from the doctor.

I found Michael sleeping downstairs on the futon with the TV going. We said hello and then he went back to sleep.

So, I’m catching up on e-mail and my soap operas on ABC.

Meanwhile I’m writing this entry so I get it done before I go to my doctor’s appointment at 11 a.m.

There will be a stop at the post office and then home.

At home, I will be doing some household chores and spending time with Michael.

Since Michael has been unemployed, I have to say I’ve enjoyed his company. Granted, he needs to be working because we need the money. However, we have had some great moments of talking to one another and doing things around the house. I feel that with getting married our relationship has hit another level and we love each other more than ever.

I know when he does go back to work, I’m going miss him.

Anyway, I love regular days.

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June.”

— L. M. Montgomery

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read Full Post »

Stoopid Movie Night

Saturday is our “stooped” movie day and night. Our satellite station has the SciFi channel. I don’t know if the Midwest or the East Coast gets this channel but as the name implies it is all science fiction.

The station it appears has theme nights. One night it was snakes. Another night it was birds that had eaten meat from dead cows that were infected by mad cow disease. Saturday night was ant night. There were two movies about ants. One the ants were super smart. I didn’t get to see the beginning so I’m not sure of the premise of the movie. Anyway, the ants created a computer by using their bodies and they could create long strands of themselves to capture people. One of the characters happened to get an ant in his ear and it bit certain parts of his ear. This makes him nuts; he sweats a lot, has tics and is just generally strange. Yet, his team members don’t seem to notice anything. After his run in with the ants the first time, I would think he would have been checked out by a doc and he would have checked his ears. I think this lone ant was keeping track of what the humans were doing and transmitting this to the other ants.

Bottom line, the acting was terrible, the special effects are far fetched and generally a stooped movie.

The second movie is about ants which are soldier ants and they are really large and they gang up on whatever is edible and go straight to the bone. There is the attempt to burn them, blow them up and all sorts of other things. Again there is poor acting, poor acting on the part of the ants and . . . another stooped movie.

Now don’t think of us as stoopid because we watch these movies. It is a night of fun to pick out all the bad acting and the side affects.

The last stoopid movie we watched was about these aggressive fish that eat everything in sight including people. To take care of this problem the government authorized the officials of the town to poison the lake. This action, of course, killed everything in the lake. Thirty years later, some fish are back and . . . so are the killer fish. Only a doctor and his brother the bait shop owner are dumping growth hormones into the lake in hopes to bring back the tourists. Because the killer fish are eating all the fish (and people) they are the ones being affected by the growth hormone. It’s all out war to kill these fish. To get rid of them, the chief of police who has been bit by this fish, shorts out the electricity to the village and somehow shoots down the main electrical line. He gets his daughter to put the end of the wire into the water and this electrocutes all the fish in the lake. One of the stoopid parts in this action is what about the killer fish on land?

I end this here. So, if you are ever bored and want some fun watch some stoopid movies.

mz. em

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Quote of the Day:

“Ah! There’s nothing like staying home for real comfort.”

— Jane Austen

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Currently Reading:

Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach

New American Standard Bible

Al-Anon Faces Alcoholism Second Edition” by Al-Anon Family Groups

Writing for Your Life: A Guide and Companion to the Inner Worlds” by Deena Metzger

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Read Full Post »

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