Archive for June, 2007

Where Has June Gone

It is really hard to believe this is the last day of June and to think that I began the month in the hospital.

I never really got back my day yesterday but I did accomplish getting some laundry done and the microwave cabinet is straighten and dusted. With that, I watched some television and went to bed early.

I slept well and even remembered one of the dreams I had. It’s one I’ve had numerous times before. I begin the dream with being able to float/fly above people’s heads. Some of these people want to catch me and others don’t notice me at all. Where this is taking place is in a multi-level building. The interior structure is quite nice with wood paneling, brushed aluminum and lots of windows. At some point I am outside and floating/flying above water. The only part of this that scares me is the waterfall. I know that I don’t want to get too close to it. Meanwhile, the folks that want to get me are still chasing. In some ways I enjoy floating/flying above them and other times I feel scared that they might get me.

I don’t know much about dreams other than I have been told that dreaming about water is in relation to our feelings. All I know is the theme has occurred before.

With getting to bed earlier, I woke up earlier. This is a good thing and I get downstairs to find that man of mine sleeping on the futon. I leave him there and go into the back room to meditate and followed up with lifting weights. I sort of felt like I didn’t want to do physical activity but since I didn’t get to it yesterday I knew better than skip it.

Today is going to be an easy day. So far I’ve accomplished.

1. Reading my inspirational books

2. Doing some art work in my journal

3. Talking with my sponsor

4. Balancing my checkbook

5. Doing some laundry

6. Brushing Max; and

7. Watching some television

I do need to put up clean towels but I think that will be the most of my day. I’m ready to kick back with Michael and Max.

mz. em


Quote of the Day

You love me so much; you want to put me in your pocket. And I should die there smothered.
— D. H. Lawrence


Currently Reading: “A Ghost in the Closet is There an Alcoholic Hiding?” by Michele Dale Mitchel

Lasher” by Anne Rice

A Woman’s Spirit” by Karen Casey

Currently Watching: PBS’s Nova: The Great Inca Rebellion

Listening to: The radio – country music



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An Unusual Morning

Just let me say that I hate change.

This morning was one of change. Yesterday I had received voice mail from two people wishing me to call them back.

Since I was working on creating and tweaking this site at WordPress most of the afternoon and into the evening hours, I didn’t take time to take my night time shower. So, I took a shower this morning.

One was from the nurse advocate from my health benefits wanting to check in with her on how I was doing since I had returned home from the hospital. It took approximately 20 to 30 minutes answering her questions and ending with her statement that she would call me in a month’s time to find out the outcome from my visit with the psychiatrist who monitors my medications.

The second call was to a student at Stanford who was writing a doctoral thesis on patients who receive electroconvulsive therapy (ECT). I spent approximately 30 minutes on the phone with her answering her questions. She is going to call me back in a month to follow up on my progress.

My third call was to my Al-Anon sponsor and we chatted for 15 to 30 minutes going over my days and what I had garnered from reading Al-Anon literature. The catch phrase from “One Day at a Time” (ODAT) was “Be good to myself.”

By the time I’m done it is after 11 a.m. Now, do I start at this point doing my regular morning routine or do I just go with the flow and do whatever comes up. What I end up doing is to finish cleaning my microwave cabinet. This is a good thing since it’s been on my list for quite sometime and I kept putting it off as the clutterness of the cabinet was overwhelming and I wouldn’t start on it. I was told in a group while I was in the hospital to break things down into small pieces; so, I did and I clean the top of cabinet yesterday afternoon and finished it off this morning. Yea! Another project done.

Now to handle the rest of my day.

mz. em



Quote of the Day

The only sure thing about luck is that it will change.

— Wilson Mizner



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Hello world!

Well this is my first post here at WordPress. I plan to move from Diaryland . Welcome to those who have been reading and to the newcomers.

mz. em

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My Dad

When I was small I felt that my Dad was the tallest man around. I feel that we all feel like that when we are little kids. However, my Dad was at least six foot in his stocking feet.

My Dad liked to hunt, fish, ice fish, go camping, walk in the woods, work in the garden and visit with friends. I bet you can’t believe that I liked all those things as well. My Dad included me in most of his activities and I enjoyed myself and I adored my Dad.

One of Dad’s likable traits was his storytelling. He had all of us in stitches and he knew lots of stories and jokes. I would love to sit under the table when he was sitting there with his guy friends and they were all sharing their adventures.

One of the treats for me was my Dad taking me hiking for my birthday on the Appalachian Mountain trails there in Maine. Our relatives would drop us off at the trail head and meet us on the other end. My Dad and I would have a water bottle and lunch to be eaten later on the trail. It was joyous to be in nature, hiking with Dad and seeing new territory. These were the things that memories are made of. Later on when my younger sister was older, she was invited to go with us. Mind you, I didn’t do the inviting and I was horrified with her whining of “wait for me” or “slow down I can’t keep us.” I would just hiss at her to straighten up and to keep up.

Other fun times were fishing with Dad, Uncle Bo and Uncle Scribby. There was lots of storytelling with the fishing and I loved fishing. With these three guys I also went hunting for deer and pheasants. I never hit anything but it was fun shooting my gun and just being with the guys.

Another time that especially stands out in my mind was when I was having trouble in learning how to ride my motorcycle. One early Sunday morning, California time, I called my Dad. He was up since Maine time was three hours ahead of California time. Sobbing into the phone I told him how I was having trouble riding and that my friends were giving me a hard time. I told him how I wanted to get in touch with the instructor of the motorcycle safety course and have him work with me and my motorcycle. My Dad told me that if I wanted to learn how to ride my bike then that is what I needed to do and I should do it regardless of what my friends thought. Just listening to his quiet voice telling me everything would be okay and to go for what I want and not let anyone stop me. I felt so much better and a big weight had lifted off my shoulders. Now mind you, my Dad wasn’t that excited about me riding a motorcycle but he knew how much I wanted this.

My Dad was a recovering alcoholic and had bi-polar disorder. He wasn’t always the easiest man to live with, hence my parents got a divorce nor was he always likeable. But, he with his AA program and me with my Al-Anon program we were able to find our way to live with each other and when he died I was able to let him go and not have any unfinished business.

So, that’s my Dad in a very small nutshell. To me, he was my knight in tarnished armor and I loved him.

mz. em


Quote of the Day

Words are the voice of the heart.
— Confucius

Currently Reading: “A Ghost in the Closet is There an Alcoholic Hiding?” by Michele Dale Mitchel

Lasher” by Anne Rice

A Woman’s Spirit” by Karen Casey

Currently Watching: Hope Floats

Listening to: Armageddon The Album


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