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Archive for the ‘Reading’ Category

Diversions

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Quote of the Day:

“Romance and work are great diversions to keep you from dealing with yourself.”

— Cher

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My diversions began when I was a small child. Although at that age, I didn’t have romance or work. I had books thanks to my Aunt Lish. I also played outside as much as possible during all four seasons while living in Maine and Florida.

Reading and my imagination were the diversions of dealing with alcoholic arents. Those of you who have grown up under these conditions know of what I type here. When I was reading or imagining I didn’t have to deal with the confusion of changing rules, situations and feeling like I wasn’t good enough no matter what I did.

When I became older, I added to my tools house cleaning. Overall this was a good thing but when it came to cleaning my room I would pull everything out from the wall. I would sweep, dust and wash windows. Next came putting the furniture back and I would rearrange room until the next week. This act would drive my mother crazy. I don’t know why since my room was clean.

Other diversions were high school and after school activities. Romance also entered the picture and I must say my choices weren’t very good. The idea in my head was all of this kept me from the home chaos.

Although my grades were mostly “A’s” and “B’s” with some “C’s” none of this registered with mother. Her attitude was I could have done better. In time, I just stopped trying and did what I did and whatever I got was good enough for me.

After fighting with mother enough times, I moved in with my Dad and Step-Mother. They did the best they could but I was a scarred child and whether in my head or physically acting out I didn’t make life easy for them or what they could do for me.

I ended up pregnant by the boyfriend of the time. I wasn’t even 18 yet. I moved in with him and as soon as I turned 18 we were married. We were married before a Justice of the Peace. Our mothers were there but not my Dad. One more time I had disappointed him and that hurt.

My life was a hit or miss of good choices and me adding to my closets in my head. The bad choices I would put in a back closet and kept the door locked. Those choices would find a way out and curdled my soul to even acknowledge them. I didn’t understand them and I didn’t know how to get rid of them except to lock them back in their closets.

So I had come to the point of work, bad choices of boyfriends and dancing most every night. I would stay up most of the night with a stop off for breakfast, a couple of hours of sleep and then back to work. Only to do it over again, by the third night I had to give it a rest and stay in and I would sleep like a brick.

Sometimes. Sometimes my sleep would be inhabited by dreams about my parents or actions I had taken and the outcome which was not what I had expected. I hated to sleep because of the dreams. I believe this is why I worked and played hard so I could keep the boogie man away.

Luckily I found Al-Anon. This program gave me the tools to face my demons and to finally put them to rest. Since I didn’t have good role models, I found better ones in the program. I reset my brain, I let go of the scary stuff in my head and I learned to act and not react to situations. This didn’t happen overnight but step by step and one day at a time. Today I am living with my disorders as peacefully as I can, happily married to the man of my dreams and my two fur children.

Gee, all of this from a simple quote. Thank you Cher.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Fascinating

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Quote of the Day:

“Even if my marriage is falling apart and my children are unhappy, there is still a part of me that says, “God! This is fascinating.”

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Hi gang, happy Monday!

I did finish one book and a small leaflet. I’m almost caught up on my Bible reading and Al-Anon inspirational book. Other than that I spent time with my fur children.

I know every parent feels that their children are the best and I’m one of those parents. The difference is that my children are cats, Max is three and Bailey is two and I do find them fascinating.

This is actually Spike but this is what Bailey looks like

This is actually Spike but this is what Bailey looks like

Bailey is a cat that likes to watch me clean out their litter boxes and the area surrounding the boxes. I’m not sure what he finds fascinating other than he may feel he is supervising me. Max could care less until the job is done and he can use the boxes.

maxMax, however, is “Mr. Clean.” He cleans up around the food bowl and when it comes to the litter boxes, man, he paws and paws and even runs his paw down the sheet that covers the bathroom area. Yet, since both Max and Bailey are a Maine Coon-mix their back paws holds onto that litter and I find it every where.

Bailey has found he likes sleeping on the bed, the empty ice cooler, on top of the drawer beside the TV and under the bed.

I’ve also noticed that Max likes to stir up the water in his water dish, then he licks his paw and then he will drink from the bowl.

Max’s favorite places to sleep are on the carpet under the desk in a little cubby I made by stacking boxes and bags of our things at the front of the desk. Max has a box with the top that has about a 12-inch hole in it. Unless you knew about it you would never find him. There is also a stack of blankets beside the chest of drawers that Max finds very comfortable.

Both cats like sleeping next to me or Michael. Usually they begin the evening with me (I think because I don’t move as much as Michael) and then move over to Michael. Both like to sleep propped up against my legs or feet or they curl up in the crooks of my body depending  whether I’m on my side or between my legs if I’m on my back. Neither of them cares to be under the covers unless I am making the bed. Go figure.

These two cats can drive us crazy but we love them very much.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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It’s Friday!

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Quote of the Day:

I’m giving the quotes a couple of days off too.

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I am so behind in my reading that I’m taking this weekend off to catch up. So, don’t worry, I will be back on Monday. I’ve got to get back onto one book at a time other than my bible reading.

Have a good weekend everyone!

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

“The NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Just Another Day

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Quote of the Day:

“We need a new way of thinking, a new vocabulary. We have nineteenth-century thinking, but technology is so fast. We have to change our brains. That is why I’m so for art, because art will give us a new kind of thinking.”

— Andrei Voznesensky

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The week and weekend has been a rollercoaster in weather. The beginning of the week it was hot and breezy. All windows and slider doors were open. The cats loved it for the fresh air and listening to the birds. It’s fun to listen to each cat chirp at the birds and sit up in attention with big eyes wishing to be outside. When the cats are lying still, the sun shows off the shine of their fur. It does pay off to groom them daily. Their fur is very shiny. We also had breezes which at times were disconcerting.

The worst of the week was someone in the neighborhood conducting a type of construction on their home and this was very aggravating.

Later in the week the temperature dropped and the meteorologists were predicting rain all the rest of the week. However, I never saw a drop of rain. There were overcast days, cool days and windy days. These days did not urge me to open the windows and sliders.

Today being Sunday has been sunny with some breezes. I do believe spring has arrived.

It was a visit to the doctor this week. With the medications I take, my PCP likes to see me every couple of months to make sure everything is cohabiting well. Although, I’m wondering: Dr. L increased one of my meds. I take it at night before I go to bed. So, last night I took my pills, watched a little TV and then got up and bent over to kiss Michael goodnight and the next thing I know, I’m wobbly in the legs and I’m heading for the floor, maybe the coffee table or Michael’s lap. Michael’s lap would have been the softest landing. Instead, the coffee table was the furniture that caught me. OUCH! Michael attempted to lift me up but no luck. I had to hold something and work with Michael to get me off the floor. My legs felt like spaghetti.

The funny part was I woke up later in the night/morning, I find I still had my eye glasses on.

I wake up this morning aching all over. The only area that shows bruising, is my left elbow. I still have sore areas and Michael says it may be a couple of days before the bruising will show. All I can tell you, at any age and especially if you are over 50, don’t fall down.

Tomorrow begins a new week. My expectations are reading more of my books not that five books is too many. I try to do some work in the house and then take one of my books and read pages and then find other things to do in the house. I have no appointments for the week and this pleases me to know ends.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

Lisey’s Story” by Stephen Kin

“the NEW diary” by Tristine Rainer

Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Psalms

Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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Write Right

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Quote of the Day:

“When I’m not writing, I can’t make sense out of anything. I feel the need to make some sense and find some order, and writing fiction is the only way I’ve found that seems to begin to do that. Even if the story or the novel ends up saying there is no sense and there is no order, at least I’ve made that much of an attempt.”

— Alice McDermott

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One thing I’ve noticed about being a writer, it spoils reading for me. As I read, I’m critiquing the author’s style of writing. I believe this slows down my reading. However my reading makes me notice the turn of the phrase. The style the author uses.

I know when I began journaling on-line, I would write and when done, I would instantly upload to my site. Now, I do a spell check, then I read what I’ve written, check the spelling (even I know you can’t trust the spell check) and I get a second rewrite in before I upload. That is an improvement from the beginning of writing.

As I’ve written here it does make it hard to read because I am checking out style, words used and the tenses between sentences remain the same. That said I still like to read because I feel it improves my writing. But, you see, this is where Miss Perfection jumps in here! 😎

In the last two weeks I’ve done two watercolor paintings and I don’t like either one. I think this Sunday I shall find a painting to use as a guide. The Divine Ms. M has suggested it helps to copy others to learn technique. So, I may give that a try or I’ll get out my crayons and work with them. I like the fact I am being creative on Sundays and it carries through the week without pressure.

mz. em

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Currently Reading:

Loving an Alcoholic” by Jack Mumey

Desperation” by Stephen King

Walking on Alligators” by Susan Shaughnessy

New American Standard Bible” – The Book of Job

Hope for Today” by Al-Anon

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