Several years ago I developed the disorder of agoraphobia. This is one where I don’t want to leave my house for reason of anxiety and stress and the possibility of having a panic attack.
With Michael in the hospital all last week, I needed to double up on my medications and just put my game face on and just do it. I would get through the day but come home and collapse in my chair. Doing this for six days, worry about Michael and attempting to take care of the household bills, did me in.
I’m glad Michael came home when he did. This meant I could slow down and take it easy. Do things in my time instead of someone else’s time. When the agoraphobia hits I can go from sad and crying to being very angry and want nothing to do except retire to my chair and hide out.
So, it’s has been nice the last two days stay home and putter around the house and spend time with the cats.
People seem to think, “Just do it and you will get over it.” Well sorry; it doesn’t work that way even with taking my medications. My brain gets scrambled. Like Tuesday I believe it was I decided to put some make up on and I got my make up done (so I thought) and I was picking out lipstick and a lip liner. I thought it odd because normally I can see what I’m doing. Then it hit me, I didn’t have my glasses on. This is not normal; well, duh.
Normally I have finished up my eyes and then I put my glasses to do my lips. To finish, I realized I had put lip liner on as my under eye liner. How stupid.
Maybe I will try again tomorrow.
mz. em
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Quote of the Day:
“There is no duty we so much underrate as the duty of being happy. By being happy we sow anonymous benefits upon the world.”
— Robert Lewis Stevenson
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Currently Reading:
“Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort and Joy” by Sarah Ban Breathnach
“Alcoholics Anonymous – Fourth Edition“ by Alcoholics Anonymous
“A Benni Harper Mystery – Fool’s Puzzle” by Earlene Fowler
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Words of Mine 